Sometimes we just run in these circles because we cannot help ourselves
It still seems so ridiculous
why the dealings are there with these people who expect the full effect
but disregard what we have to do to get there
whether it be degrading or self evading
or misconstruing solid facts
that we are so so sure of,
so sure of in fact that we know we are past the point of not looking back
when walking slowly away
and the truth is replaced with what you want to think, to make it easier.
But then, I see them turn around,
walk slowly back
and place their arms gently out front of them
symmetrical and bare
for the handcuffs to be placed back on as they’re led away
simple and smiling in the fairness of it all
Funnily that is not and will never be fair,
and only someone who is not involved knows the smile is sad,
because the only one who gets fooled is the one who keeps believing
when the evidence is always missing because someone stole the box
So there you are again the pretty little present,
and the hands that reach for you again,
and the others, who are good and only want a chance,
they cry for you
because they know they will have to step back again,
and are put off
Because you try to be yourself and come fully
but when you’ve shown proof for so long that there’s nothing more than tired,
and the silly happy feeling comes and goes with the sound of a wrong word or look or ring,
Its exhausting… but that maybe you feel that in those loose seconds walking back
maybe the realization would come that everything can change
and that it could be easier, if they would just let their guard down for one second
for that one person,
but it will not happen because logic
and seconds will keep stretching into minutes of forced silence,
Because the last thing you want to be in silent.
and the minutes of happiness will seem like seconds,
Seconds you use to justify everything, your reasoning, running, and returning.
Changes just with a laugh. A real genuine gut aching laugh.
Fucking betraying wrenching laughter, that makes you feel high.
Words spiraling leaves
Come to a standstill at the bottom
While he is like the wind
Patiently waiting to blow your words
And hug me in the cool breeze
Giving me calm and trust with silence
Senseless unnecessary words
I feel the heat and wind on my face
As I finally realize.
King Foo Chop
Isn’t it funny how everything in life is a fight when it does not have to be
We fight to keep certain relationships together when we should just let them dissolve
We fight for love when we aren’t even sure it is being given back to us in the right way
We fight for our families and friends not to hurt when we ourselves are fighting battles also, and we try everything we can do to make them forget,
But we still manage to fight the idea of actually taking care of ourselves.
Thats why I write and write and write
because if I did not I would explode,
because there is so much to think about all the time if you do not get it out in a memorable way,
you may internalize it, and forget how you felt at that moment at that time.
And you do not want to forget,
because when you forget you are capable
of getting right back to that low point you never want to put your foot in again.
And when we feel lonely,
and we contemplate the things and actions we have done a
nd taken to make our lives the way they are at the moment,
we wonder if we won the right battles and fought for the right things.
And we wonder if we are looking in the right direction.
But every battle we fight,
at that moment while we are fighting,
has a purpose,
and at that moment we feel as though we are right in our actions.
So remember that…You have always been right in your actions in that moment in time.
And sometimes its not easy to remember that,
when we end up with a sad feeling.
And when we end up feeling alone.
It makes us feel like we are not strong,
or that we went astray somewhere, at some moment
when we should have been embracing instead of pushing away.
And you’re filled with doubt.
But EVERYTHING in life is only temporary,
and while that is sad for some aspects it is also so important to remember for others,
because we are just walking in a life of fleeting moments,
and we can choose to use them for good while we have them.
So remember that the highs are temporary,
as well as the lows.
And Every feeling fades into something different,
whether that be a comfortable numbness,
or a all encompassing hatred.
But only you have the power to dictate
which feelings are worthy and capable of overpowering YOU.
And it is so easy to say, so easy to say,
but to actually have faith that
HE will pick you up is a whole different thing.
Choosing to live for you
when you have been living for other people for years is difficult I can only Imagine.
But how in the world can one expect you to take care of others
when you are not concentrating on putting your happiness first.
A smart being said “this too shall pass”