I was stumped to find myself scratching my head last night, staring blankly inside my fridge. And I was really mad at myself because I stopped at the store to get stuff to cook for din for the hubby, but did not pick up anything for myself! I thought that I woud have a ton of stuff a new vegan like me could eat…after all I was a vegetarian/cheataterian prior to last night.
Apparently I have a solid vegan pantry, with lots of great grains and baking ingredients, but I dont have the extra pizzazzy stuff you add to make those things delicious. Then, while standing there, I had a mental meltdown triggered by a frozen pizza. I almost cried over the fact that I won’t be able to eat pizza. I started to think, “is this forever? Will I never eat the delicious cheezy goodness again?”
But I slapped myself mentally and grabbed the jar of peanut butter. Reaching another dead end with that when I realized my bread has skim milk in the ingredients, I grabbed a large spoon and kicked back with some peanut butter and Jelly…Straight out of the jar. Topping that off with some Trader Joe’s veggie chips, and an episode of “Pretty Little Liars” I wasn’t even feeling tempted by the delicious smells of bbq chicken coming from my crock pot, waiting for my boyfriend to finish it off. My dog, on the other hand, was drooling all over the kitchen floor. I guess this was just a little lesson in remembering to take care of myself and my needs, before I take care of everyone else.
So It just so happens that my foray into veganism this month is also paralleling the new yoga workshop I signed up for. Although I have been practicing yoga for awhile, I decided to take a beginner’s workshop to learn the philosophies and the method behind the madness. I want to be able to practice without having to stare at the instructor the whole time.
Thank goodness it was an easy class because I was really shaky after the ridiculous dinner I ate. But, the instructor asked us to dedicate our practice to something we were passionate about at the time. (Examples…strength, state of mind, our breath) I chose to dedicate my practice to God, and the strengthing of my self. I think I need to create a solid sense of self, before I undertake any new projects that I have in mind for the year. And I have to get over the loss of cheese from my life… I mean, there are better things, right?